Pennywise, Pennywise, Pennywise

Why Pennywise?

It was Halloween and we decided to purchase and watch “IT Chapter 2.”
We watched the first one in the theater two years before. I enjoyed it, but moved on without too much reflection. Pennywise was cool, the kids were very good. I listened to some reviews as I usually do after seeing a new flick, decided that I liked it fine, and went on with my life. So this year, we bought the sequel, the main pull being in Hader’s performance, as I’d seen a couple clips of his interviews and knew he’d be fun to watch.
By the end of the film I was needled by a ceaseless thought. “I really effing like this clown.” Spiderwise at the end was an obvious CGI romp, but so fun to watch. So, at the end of the movie, I thought I’d probably like to paint Pennywise; it’s kind of iconic, right?

I took a little dive into Tumblr and Instagram to see how other artists were rendering it and as I looked at the behind-the-scenes stills and other images of Pennywise from both films, I felt a greater and greater pull to draw it. And the more I drew it, the less I wanted to ever STOP drawing it. I bought the first IT movie, re-watched it with fresh eyes and grabbed screenshot after screenshot of Pennywise.

Hyper-Fixation

Ahhh… the intoxicating drink called hyper-fixation. Impossible to predict it’s appearance, the obsessive wave comes as a delirious storm of serotonin and content consumption. Sometimes lasting a lifetime, other times no more than a week. The quick ones are like a heavy filtration with a past acquaintance. Barely remembered but enjoyed in their time. A flurry of dalliances, joining fan groups, or binging content until attention is drawn elsewhere, for good.
But the big ones are like massive storms, taking up miles of mental real estate.
Sneak off to the corner for a quick scroll through a fanpage on Tumblr.
Aching, longing need to create a connection to the original art.
Growing stacks of computer paper covered in renderings ranging from awful doodles to competently expressed pencil portraits.
This is what dopamine is, probably. This is the love hormone heaping itself onto the abstract image of a fictional universe. I’ve done it ever since I can remember being conscious enough to watch tv.
Edward Scissorhands.
Underdog.
Dragonball.
Animorphs.
The Cure.
NIN.
Charlie Chaplin.
Nosferatu.
The Bride of Frankenstein.
The Odyssey.
Lord of the Rings.
Countless other media, music, and stories. Next up …. Pennywise?

My Drug

This is an entity, and if there’s one thing this cryptid and horror fan enjoys, it’s an effective monster. This monster, formless in its truest form, but LOVES taking the shape of a clown. A performer. A predator that LOVES playing with its food. But.. it’s a gross drooly child eater. AND It gets all of what… eight minutes of dialogue in the movie? It’s probably not wise to try and intellectualize an emotional experience. I can’t help but want to think it out. It feels weird, like an unpopular flavor of ice cream that I can’t stop eating. I want to come up with a good reason but I can’t, ok?

I guess at first it was just… I liked it’s face. The eeriness worked and along with the unnerving qualities such as the dead wall eyed stare, endless drool and lunar cranium, there’s an ethereal art. The makeup effect is so striking. Like the best designs for the Joker. This is an iconic look. Gleaming yellow eyes pulled into the furrowed brow of an apex predator. Full blood red lips painted all the way to the forehead. Rabbit teeth to jazz up that unsettling clown smile, to remind one of the horrifying dream clown from Brave Little Toaster.
Then you see this figure looming intimidatingly tall over the poor children. A thin waist? The material of the costume is a beautifully dusty metallic grey, with boots any goth would adore. A frilled frayed collar and jingle bell sounds.
What I’m saying is that I love this creepy murder clown design, because by the gods, they nailed it.
And he plays the part with physicality inhuman and yet charming in its way. It’s a troll. Poking and prodding fears and insecurities. This is how it catches its victims.
It’s not pleasant or good that it loves to feed on scared children. But it’s VERY interesting to watch at work. The best horror villains are interesting to watch. You hate their actions, yes, but you also love when they’re on screen. When this clown is on screen, I cannot look away.

It Just Won’t Stop

Then came the synchronicities. The clown felt like he was everywhere: on a random youtube video my husband was watching after I had been thinking about it, or finding a copy of the IT book for $2 in a used book store. A day trip to the Renaissance Festival and the last place I expected to find anything Pennywise-related. There’s a beautiful black lace choker with a Pennywise cameo right in my line-of-sight. He appears now when I’m not looking for him. I fall gaily and so self-consciously into the well. Okay, I will stay in the fixated realm. This may dissipate over the next few months, or it may stay and change with me. And hopefully, I won’t weird-out my friends too much in the process.